


Using Magic Missile To Attack the Darkness

by ChaoticSparklez



Series: Mae is Missing [2]
Category: Night In The Woods (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Blood and Injury, Depression, Dissociation, Funerals, Grief, Gun Violence, Hearing Voices, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Character Death, Sadness, Schizophrenia, Shapes, So Many Shapes, Violence, but enough to warrant the tags, haha its finally over, kill me, not extremely graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-11-06 21:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11044374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticSparklez/pseuds/ChaoticSparklez
Summary: Where is she?Do you really want to find out?_______________Sequel to "Rolling a 20 on Peaceful Sleeping"





	1. The Hole to the Center of Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are you doing, Mae?

_What are you still doing here?_

_Every second you spend with them, the more you put them in danger._

But they’re the only ones keeping her sanity right now.

_Don’t pretend like everything is perfect._

As much as Mae hated the voices in her head, she had to admit they were right.

_You have to deal with this on your own._

Why, though? Can’t they help her?

_Oh, sure, as if almost getting shot wasn’t close enough to death for them. You want to be the one that tells their parents that their children had to die because you dragged them into this fucking mess?_

…

_Sneak out. Bea’s asleep._

Mae stared up at the vacant ceiling, at least she believed it was a ceiling, everything just seemed like a mess of gray and white shapes, as if everything was just some made up reality of her mind, although her mind couldn’t comprehend what anything was. The glowing circle outside the clear rectangle was the only source of light in the room, with the shadows casting an ominous tension in the room. Only when Mae heard the soft snores of her best friend did she attempt to rise from the blocky couch. Her head stung like it was being repeatedly hit with a hammer, but she didn’t dare make a sound. The last thing she needed was the others following her back to the mines. Gregg would probably try to bring his crossbow, and end up getting himself hurt, or killed. She couldn’t risk it. Before opening the door, she looked back at the sleeping mess of shapes laying on the dull red block. She knew it was Bea, but something in her head wasn’t so sure. It looked so dead, not like Bea at all.

_They’re fake, they’re all fake, nothing, empty space. The sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be._

But Mae didn’t want to believe that. She’s come so far, with her friends by her side, so how could she expect to disregard them, just like that? Despite her reluctance, she could feel her nightmare eyes trying to adjust to the corrupted formations around her, the masses with no power, no purpose, no future. Just like her. Why was she getting anxious? They were just shapes! They’re fake, useless nothing shapes! Everything she knew and loved was a lie! She wanted to laugh out loud at the realization, but at the feeling of her heart rate (probably just a beating red ball) speeding up, she quickly and quietly slipped out the door before she could panic and screw everything up. Or worse, hurt someone.

Being out in the cool night air cleared her head some, and she was actually able to distinguish specific objects around her. The doorknob, the railing around the stairs, the clouds in the darkened sky, the brash carpet; so her anxiety lessened. She stuck to the shadows like the cat she was, hiding from any passerby who could point her out and question her. Usually jumping the rooftops would be her preference of travel, but even she knew she was in no condition to do that, with her head still ringing, and not being able to walk without clutching her stomach. The town was silent, absent of any cars driving by or any people, only the quiet skitter of the excess rat population every now and then. At any noise outside of the cooling breeze she would duck quickly into a shadow, and wait, and wait, barely breathing, not making a single move – if she learned anything from her mall date with Bea, it was to stay still to be unnoticed – until she was absolutely sure she was the only one out at this time. It happened quite a bit. She almost passed out twice.

Often her mind would blur and she’d forget a span of time, but she was still heading in the right direction, so she didn’t fret. It reminded her of the visions she had while in that coma-thing. Despite sleeping for days, she was still so tired. Even that short nap at Gregg’s did nothing for her. All she wanted to do was lie down and just let go, but her legs kept walking. She stopped in front of the hill past the fence. It looked intimidating. Was it too late to turn back?

_Just a few more steps._

What a lie that was, but Mae was swayed anyway. She walked again, struggling to maintain her quiet breathing as she climbed slowly up the hill –man, was she out of shape- preparing herself for whatever was to come. The temperature dropped. Once the path evened out again, Mae was shivering almost violently. Every step caused another ripple effect through her legs, all the way to her ears. She could barely see through her shaky vision. The mine carts came into view and she found herself stopping in her tracks. She remembered stopping her before, when the gang was with her. They’re still there, lying still, shifting between old, abandoned carts, to lifeless shapes; she didn’t know which was worse.

So old. So old so old so old.

She kept walking. The thought of those carts vanished from her mind almost immediately, especially with her shivering continuing with the cold, lifeless surroundings. Her eyes remained unfocused, directed at the ground, as she walked. She was about to reach the other hill, but she stopped, abruptly. _He_ was here. She could feel it. She looked up, slowly, trying to determine if her messed up mind was just playing tricks on her or he was actually standing there. The ghost, the one that had been following her around, just at the base of the hill. She could tell her was staring right at her, but he didn’t say anything. Questions, a million questions, filled her had.

“What are you?” _Who are you?_ “Are you a ghost?” _Are you a person? Are you even real? Why are you following me?_ “What’s happening in my head?” _What did I do? Why won’t you say anything?_ “Talk!” _Say something! Why am I here? Why are you here? Why are you trying to kill me? Why? Why? Why!?_

Mae couldn’t tell what she actually said out loud or what was just screaming in her head. It hurt. If her head was pounding before, it was freaking imploding now. He said nothing.

_Get this over with._

“Fine.” Mae walked towards him. The figure waited until she was a few steps behind before he turned and led the way back to the mine. Her chest ached. Her fur stood on its ends, as if something were supposed to happen at this moment, but at the last second the universe shifted, so nothing happened instead. An empty feeling dropped to the bottom of her stomach and every cell in her body wanted her to just turn back. Why won’t she just turn back?

_You can’t turn back. Not now, not ever, not if you want this to end. Keep walking._

She was walking to her death. She knew she was. But that’s okay, right? She wasn’t really _living_ as it was, she was just a burden on everyone else around, just a waste of space. She failed at college, she failed at being an adult, at being a friend, she just… failed. And that’s okay. That’s just fine. Casey failed too, and that’s why he ran away. She was doing the same now, except she’s actually just killing herself instead of skipping town. He probably felt the same way. Anxious. Nervous. Scared.

The landing where Mae and her friends had noticed the cult the other day came into view. She wasn’t sure how she was going to make it down the steep cliff side, but then the guy (ghost?) took a sharp turn and she saw the smooth path carved into the side that led right down to the entrance. Oh, yeah, that made a lot more sense, she thought. She walked slowly, not making as much progress as before since she was busy trying not to lose balance and fall to her death. She wished Angus were here. He’d probably offer to carry her. Her mood dropped, more shapes. Whatever.

Mae followed the cloaked guy into the mine entrance, watching how her shadows multiplied and moved from the scattered glowing shapes. Like a crowd following her, and leading the way. She was always in the center. A protection squad. Oh, who was she kidding, she really was alone, even with the ghost. A thought came to her: “Are you going to kill me?”

No answer, he didn’t even slow. Something about knowing her death could be at the hands of this ghost person just made her even more anxious and afraid. And numb. It was a creeping feeling, crawling up her spine that slowly made her lose her sense of the cold, and her emotion. Like she was turning into a bunch of shapes herself. The thought scared her.

Soon they came upon an elevator, a stark modern contrast to the dull walls of the cave. He flipped a switch and they stood inside until the whirs of the great mechanism came to life and they descended. The soft clanks of gears turning and loose pebbles reminded Mae of the time her and Bea ‘fixed’ that weird lady’s furnace. Well, Bea did the fixing. Mae just destroyed it again. Then after they had lemonade and Mae got a bunch of fireflies to follow her. She’d always been good at that. She had a fun time, and she was sure Bea had felt the same. And even if she didn’t, she still was willing to put up with Mae, so that’s something. Not that it matters now.

_Quit crying, baby._

She’s crying? Sure enough, when Mae felt her face, her fur was wet. She didn’t even realize it. Her head pulsed and rang, like a bell. A bell that really hurt. The elevator came to a stop and the figure walked ahead. Why was Mae following him again? Why was she here at all? She should be at home sleeping next to her friends, trying to create a plan or something to fix this mess of a town. Anywhere but here.

_They aren’t your friends. They were never your friends, they just felt bad for you. You’re crazy, remember?_

But they-

_But nothing. It’s all lines of code, just shapes. Everything you had is only in your head._

No, that can’t be-

_Well, it is. Welcome to the real world. Nothing is real about it. There’s just nothing. No god. No friends. No family. Nothing._

“Will you just shut up!?” Mae yelled into the empty air. The figure stopped for a moment, but didn’t turn to investigate. He must think she’s crazy. She must be crazy. “Whatever,” she said to herself, again, “Whatever!” She began to follow the figure again, the numb feeling continuing its journey throughout her chest. She hoped it got to her head soon. It felt weighed down – well, not just her head, her entire _being_ – as if she were under a lake, or at the bottom of the ocean. And yet she could hear singing… something calling her. It was close.

They walked and walked, passing different leftover junk from back when the mines were actually used. Everything still looked like shapes, but she could figure what some were. Some plywood, broken support beams… benches? She guessed even miners needed God every now and then. She thought about Pastor Kate, and her last conversation with her. If you could even call it that. All Mae did was yell and accuse her of being a fraud for not believing in God 24/7. Mae was such an asshole. The weight on her felt even worse. They passed the strange room, and the lanterns hanging on the wall became more and more scarce until it was too dark to see at all. She didn’t slow, though, putting her trust in the strange ghost-man, for some reason. The ever-increasing darkness was soothing, in a way. The pressure on her being was still there, but the moment without everything invading her senses with shapes and faceless figures gave her anxiety a short-lived relief.

“Stay where you are.” Mae stopped. That was the first she had ever heard of the ghost speaking. He sounded… scruffy, but like a normal adult guy. No one she could recognize, though. So did that disprove her ghost theory? No, it couldn’t, this guy was definitely a ghost of some sort. There’s no other way he could be in her head all the time. Causing her headaches, her shapes, her straight-up insanity, and everything else. He was a ghost. That was the one thing she could be sure of.

He moved away from her, in some direction. She stood still, trying not to make any sound at all, almost afraid to keep breathing. There were… more people in the room. She could feel it. “Who’s there?” She called out, though it was more like a whisper. Her voice was weaker than she expected. She was so tired, so very tired, and so cold. “I know you’re out there!” she said, a little louder this time. It echoed. She coughed and her chest felt like it had been hit by a bomb. This room was dangerous. Every inch of her wanted nothing more than to get out of there, and yet she felt compelled to step forward.

The silence permeated the space, then a soft glow came from a good twenty feet from her. It illuminated the feet of dozens of people in dark cloaks, like the one the ghost was wearing. The light grew slowly until the entire room was bathed in a dull orange glow. It was still silent, and tense. Mae wanted to ask who they were, but she couldn’t find her voice. Was kind of cult was this?

“Mae Borowski,” came a deep voice, from one of the figures nearest to her, which was still kind of far, “Can’t say I ain’t surprised to see you down here, ‘specially all by your lonesome.” He had an accent, not unlike most of the older men in Possum Springs. It was hard to place, but it sounded familiar.

“She was up by the carts wandering around. Had a feeling her friends would show up, but they weren’t nowhere there.” Said the ghost, who stood next to him.

“Well good job leading her back, Eide.”

Eide? That was his name? Did that mean that he wasn’t a ghost?

_There are more important matters at the moment._

_Haha, it’s almost time~!_

_Don’t look down._

Look down?

The voices –the ones in her head- were getting worse, and more plentiful. Mae finally tore her eyes from the cloaked figures to the floor in front of her. Or at least, it would have been the floor. Instead of the cave ground that filled the rest of the tunnels, there was a giant hole that expanded to about half of the room that was visible. About ten feet across, with no end in sight. It seemed to go on forever. It terrified her. And yet, she felt like she had seen it before.

_A hole to the center of everything._

She can’t stay here, she needs to get out now. Now! The darkness spiraled from a comfort to a suffocating mass, and she felt frozen in place, unable to look away from the empty abyss that extended forever before her. It was calling out to her.

_Take a step._

_Walk forward~_

_Don’t look down._

She could hear singing. She really was crazy.

“Now you’re probably real confused as to why you’re here.” The man said. Mae nodded without looking away. “Many years ago, when the Ed Shudder and Jim Dorney came to this little town, they found a mine. It was all but useless, no coal, no tin or iron, just copper. Better yet, it was unstable, and poorly managed, the lake overtop was poison and people died and died before they finally closed it down.

“Then, some years later, some bootleggers came back down into this cave and just kept digging, ‘til Ed took out that wall there, and found this hole. Jim took a dive, never hit the bottom and Ed discovered something great. He found a miracle. He found that something powerful lived in this hole, something that could finally save this town. I know you’ve heard it, girl. In your dreams, or while you’re up.” She had. She knew she had. “You see, back then things weren’t going so great. Natural disasters, useless land, their children were leaving and they weren’t coming back. The government didn’t give a shit about this town, they only wanted votes. But after Ed found it, found _him, e_ verything changed. Things looked up; jobs filled up again, children stayed. It was a goddamn dream come true. So Ed tried to tell some others, and of course they didn’t believe him, but he was very persuasive. People joined, and they found that the miracles kept coming, as long as they kept feeding it. They devised a system, only getting those that won’t be missed, those that don’t contribute nothing.”

A name came to her mind, ”Casey?” she whispered meekly, as if she didn’t want to say it, let alone believe it.

“The Hartley kid? That boy wasn’t going nowhere.”

“Did this town a favor if ya ask me.” Someone else said.

“D’ya know he was getting to following in his cousin’s footsteps? That “business” that ended with him burned beyond recognition in his little shed? You should be thankful we gave the little brat an easy way out.”

She couldn’t believe it. They killed Casey. And now they were going to kill her. She wanted to run, she wanted so badly to just go back and sleep and pretend that all of this was just some bad dream. But she couldn’t move. She could barely even breathe. She could barely even think. All of her short pitiful life had led up to this moment, hadn’t it? She was going to die here. That was her destiny, her fate. No God could have predetermined that. Only her.

“Little girl, you know why you’re here?” The figure in front asked. To die, Mae thought. She would’ve nodded, but she still couldn’t move. “He’s been singing to you, hasn’t he?”

Singing?

_What? You thought you were just crazy?_

_Jump in~_

_Join him._

_End it already, Mae. It’s over._

She could feel herself crying again. Why was she? This is where she’s meant to be. Where she belongs. Why was she so hesitant? It’s just death.

_You’ll be with Casey again. And Grandpa. And Bea’s Mom._

_Just let go._

And so, she did.

And she fell.

 

And fell.

 

 

 

And fell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is!
> 
> after such a long wait that was totally unnecessary, the next work is finally here
> 
> I wrote practically all of this in class since we're literally doing nothing in all of my classes, I do not understand why there is still 20 days of school left I am salt
> 
> anyway i'm debating on adding another chapter to the last story or something to say that this one is up, but I feel like that's misleading? idk I hate author notes, as chapters, I mean
> 
> also, if you don't get the reference that is the title of this work, it's based off of a parody video of Dungeons and Dragons, it's pretty funny so I'll link it here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kgx2b1sIRs  
> and here's the 8-bit reenactment - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-leYc4oC83E&t
> 
> thank you for reading~! and let me know in the comments of what you think and stuff and I will respond
> 
> bye~ ^-^


	2. It's Over, Isn't It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It's over, isn't it?_  
>  _Why can't I move on?_

Bea sighed deeply as she gazed at the sleeping figure laying on the front door. This was the third time this week that her dad had passed out drunk outside of their apartment. He probably lost his keys- again- and fell asleep waiting for her to come home. That’s fine, Bea knew they were just at the bar across town, and she had her own.

“What am I going to do with you…” she said out loud, but mostly to herself, since she knew her dad was too out of it to hear her. It was silent while she fiddled with the lock, the once peaceful night now sweeping a wave of exhaustion over her. She wanted nothing more than to simply crawl into her bed and never get up again. The faint _click_ of the locking mechanism sounded and Bea pushed the door open to reveal her darkened apartment. She walked in and put her things away, bringing her keys and bag to her bedroom. Her bed was calling to her, begging her to lie down and sleep and her body agreed, but there was still the problem of her dad lying unconscious at the door. No doubt the neighbors would ask questions in the morning. Normally she wouldn’t mind, but the Pickaxe could lose credibility being thought of as run by a drunk, even though Bea was the one doing all the work. And since her and her father’s livelihood relied on that business, she would have to make sure he got in safe and sound. She looked back to him, snoring softly and his eyes surrounded in stress marks and lack of sleep. Hopefully in the morning his drunken sleep would refresh him, and he’d be in better spirits, but she doubted it when that she considered the fact that he’d have a hangover. Now was the problem of how to get him inside. She didn’t like the idea of carrying him, since she was really tired and didn’t want to hurt herself accidentally. Asking a neighbor to help carry was a potential option, but that still left the problem of people knowing about her dad’s alcoholism, although it was probable that everyone at the bar knows already, since he’s there about every afternoon. She sighed aloud, she’ll just have to wake him up then.

The floor creaked under her as she knelt next to him and poked him in the leg. “Daaaaaaad,” she drew out, as if she were a five-year old asking for ice cream on the way home from softball practice. He stirred slightly, but didn’t show any signs of waking up. “C’mooooon,” she whined, moving her hands to his shoulders to shake him. “Get up, Dad.” She shook harder. She almost wanted to yell at him, to use this moment of unconsciousness to her advantage and flesh out her frustrations, feelings that hadn’t been reconciled at all even after her reunion with the boys. Her arms itched to hit something, but she held back since the only thing in sight was her sleeping father, and she couldn’t do that. Maybe that’s why Mae did what she did to Andy Cullen at the softball game so many years ago. Maybe she was just so angry at life, at the universe, that she just couldn’t take it anymore. But why was she so angry? Why would a teenager like her be so angry at nothing? Why was Bea so angry right now? Oh that’s right. She was furious at the universe for fucking her over ever chance it got. First she was about to finally get into college and get her life together, then her mother dies and her father becomes incompetent. Then her friends decide they’re leaving and she’s left behind, stuck in this dingy-ass town. And? The main fucking event??

They take her best friend away from her.

No goodbyes, not even a warning. Unless you count the ghost and cult shit that was happening (maybe still happening). Just one second she was there, and the next?

Gone.

Bea fell back on her heels and pressed her palms to her eyes. When did her life become such a mess? Why did this happen? Bea cried. She cried for the first time in several weeks, shaking uncontrollably on the cold floor in the cold hallway as big, ugly, fat tears trailed down her face between the spaces of her fingers. She cried because she was lost, and she was so _angry_ and she didn’t know what to do! She cried because some asshole in the sky decided that her life was just too easy, and that she deserved to be punished for some stupid reason. And now all that she was, was a messed up young adult with nowhere to go, no one to talk to, no one who cares about her, nothing to hope for. What was the point anymore? Everyone she loved moved away, or disappeared, or _died_. All while she was left in their shadows of broken promises and fading memories. She wanted her mom. She wanted Mae. God how she wanted Mae back again.

“What the hell? What are you- Why’re you cryin’?”

Bea stopped her sobbing abruptly, to the point of holding her breath to prevent any noise from coming out, and clenched her eyes shut. One moment of peace, that's all she wanted, just one tiny moment to herself. And God said 'fuck you' to that too. 

"I asked you a question.” He said with a drunken growl, indirectly telling her that he had only been passed out for a short while before she showed up, having not gotten any more sober. He sat up and wavered, taking a moment to right himself before glaring at her again. 

Bea winced and tried to relax, sniffling once before slowly glancing up at him, "It doesn't matter." She said, because it really didn't. The main problem of the night was getting her drunk-out-of-his-mind dad into bed to forget this night ever happened, the rest- Mae, her mom, her friends, not having a single break in the last who knows how many years- was irrelevant to the present. 

"Then quit it and help me up!" He pushed his gangly arm forcibly around her shoulders, using her as a surface to push himself up and on his feet. Bea just sat still, trying not to falter under his weight. Her tears were nonexistent, the only trace of them ever being there were the thin salty trails tracing down her face. But they didn't matter. 

Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

Her dad stumbled into the apartment without another word and Bea was left kneeling in silence, as if she were praying. But she wasn’t, she hardly did anymore. A few moments passed by in the dead of night before she even considered getting up, and when she did, she barely felt anything. The world around her was numb, and so was she. 

After her dad was squared away in his ‘bed’- the couch-, Bea laid unmoving in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She felt like a depressed teen again, like at the end of senior year, when she was all set preparing for her graduation speech. Her cute navy dress was hanging in the closet along with her dark maroon colored gown with matching gold stole- the school's colors-, and college brochures were tucked away in her desk, but that all meant nothing as she cried- she could hear her dad doing the same in the other room- her dreams of her future melting away one by one. All because her mom was in the hospital again, and Bea was told she wasn't coming home this time. Today was another relapse, and last time they said she was one more away from never coming back. She couldn't go to college anymore now, not with her mother on her death bed and her father in hysterics, so what was the point of being valedictorian?

She blinked and the flashback faded, the feeling of tears still on her face but she knew she was all cried out for the day, leaving her mind with the vague dread and guilt of thinking of the inconvenience of her own future instead of- oh, I don't know- her mother freaking dying?

...

...it was all in the past now, but she was left in the same position, hating herself for crying while Gregg and Angus looked ten years older at the diner, or how yesterday Selma visited her with an empty look in her eyes, as if she had no idea where she was, and barely said a word, or how Mae was probably dead, alone, in some back alleyway because Bea wasn't bothered enough to stay awake with her after she poured her fucking heart out about her fucked up head and her shitty past on the lumpy couch in Gregg and Angus's shit apartment. Bea's hands fell over her eyes, still sore from crying, to cool her heated thoughts. Her head was pounding, like five tons of steel were balanced on the center of her forehead, like it always did after an emotional breakdown. Despite not having one since a few months ago, the feeling was far from foreign. 

Once the pain died down, she moved her hands to lay lifelessly down on her stomach, and stared for forever longer. The off-white color of the ceiling seemed to consume her, surrounding her in a brightness that covered her thoughts and feelings completely, leaving her with an empty shell of a mind, numb, and exhausted, but never able to sleep. It was almost like she was high, as she remembered the time at one of Jackie's parties when a college boy had her try weed. That wasn't too long after her mom passed away, so instead of giving her a happy feeling, it increased her numbness tenfold, leaving her to ignore everyone else until the room and stare blankly at the floor the entire time. It was ironic, since the reason Jackie invited her in the first place was to get her out of her funk. She was still high when the party ended, and while driving home she almost veered into oncoming traffic- willingly, but she never told Jackie that- however, the high dissipated immediately at the piercing sound of a car horn, causing her to correct her driving and concentrate completely on getting home safe, still shaking from the fact that she almost died. Her father was still out at the bar when she got there, of course, so she didn't have to worry about getting caught, not that she cared. She passed out in her bed to another dreamless night after. 

As in the past, the high from the whiteness of the ceiling faded too, since Bea was too tired to keep her eyes open, and her consciousness faded to a dull, broken, nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tomorrow was another day. Bea awoke- though she didn't feel any better rested- to her ear-piercing alarm, slowly coming to her senses to get herself up in those ungodly early hours in the morning. She changed her clothes in a dull silence after realizing she had passed out in yesterday's attire accidentally. Everything felt numb, but that wasn't anything new. The floorboards creaked under her groggy footsteps in the hallway to the kitchen, echoing lightly and mixing with her father's snores. She almost wished he was awake so he could feel her pain of being up this early, and... and apologize? Maybe? Be an actual father to his only daughter? But even without the undoubtedly shit hangout he'd have when he wakes up, Bea didn't expect that to ever happen. So, she grabbed her keys and left.

A few of the other residents were headed the same way, but of the early workers and small business owners, Bea wasn't much acquainted with any of them. On some mornings, one or a few would greet her, but the dreariness she was feeling seemed to pervade to everyone else as well, leaving the morning in a tense, but tired, silence. A thick fog had covered over the streets of the town sometime during the night, spreading a tight mist that only those who tenanted there could traverse through. It gave her the chance to avoid any and all interaction with others though, so she didn't mind. She got to the shop easy enough.

Long hours passed in a daze as Bea sat behind the counter, she usually stood, but about an hour in she pulled over one of the waiting room chairs since she didn't want to stand anymore. No one else commented, so she just sat back and lit another cigarette. Some of the other workers stopped by, questioning as they always did about where her father was, and if he was so bothered to stay home then why couldn't they, and Bea actually debated on letting them take a day off. Only two people had come in for business purposes so far, and the day was half-over, the shop was tanking anyway, so why bother keeping employees? But alas, it wasn't her decision, so she rejected them. They just stomped off in a grudge and threatened to quit, but in all honestly, having less people to pay would be a plus for the company. She should talk to her dad about laying people off. Good for the company, but bad for the town. She didn't care.

A while later Selma came in, looking tired and guilty, an expression known for being sick of life in general. Bea could relate. "Heya," she spoke, though the optimism she used to speak with was long gone.

"Hi," Bea replied. Sometimes the two just left it at that and Selma would sit on the counter as the time passed, then say goodbye and leave. They didn't need to talk- not that there was anything to talk about anymore- just the company was enough.

But today wasn't one of those quiet days, "I- uh, got somethin' to say," she muttered, looking down at the floor, the guilt on her face drifting into a blank look of exhaustion.

Bea noticed how her fur was a little damp from the fog. She hummed, to let her know she was listening, and snuffed out her finished cigarette, deciding to wait to light another one until Selma at least finished her thought.

She breathed deeply, and sighed. "I've been usin' again. My momma, she got a prescription for her back pain, and I swiped some when she out shoppin'." Selma said in a low voice, the stress obviously weighting on her. It had been a little over a year since she got out of rehab, clean and with a promise to stay that way. Bea had no idea why she was telling her this, but it did explain her behavior when she visited a few days ago.

Bea just watched her for a bit while she fidgeted and stared heavily at the ground, waiting on a thread for Bea's reaction. Did she expect her to scold her? To yell? "Why?" Bea gave a short reply.

"I... I guess I thought I was stronger. I didn't think that Mae being gone would be so much. In my life." She winced like her eyes stung, but Bea didn't expect her to cry. These days, tears were hard to come by. "But it's been too hard to keep back. Nothing... nothing's ever gonna be the same again, is it." She finally looked at Bea with a sad smile, a pitiful one, like one you'd expect from someone who's given up, who knows that life's only going down from there. It was a dangerous look.

"No, of course not." Bea didn't want to talk, but now wasn't the time to stay quiet. "I hate to say it but, life goes on, you know?" She's not coming back. "We can't do anything, and that's just something we've got to accept." Then why couldn't she accept that? What a hypocrite. "I think we just need to get outta this stupid town." The only true words she spoke.

She lit another cigarette.

Selma was silent, staring at Bea in her faded irises, trying to find the disappointment she'd conditioned herself to expect. But she only saw understanding pooling among the despair as Bea realized her own words. Mae was gone, forever, wasn't she? She was.

Bea realized this whole time she'd spent all of her energy trying to forget, trying to doubt, to disprove it, but that wasn't getting her anywhere. She's been digging her own grave, living every day like it was the one where God would come and give her back her lifeline, her best friend, and everything would go back to the way it was. But that was never going to happen. It's over, Mae's gone.

Mae's just... gone.

"She's gone." Bea mumbled. A tiny part of her held onto that doubt, but finally admitting to herself the truth about all this lifted a big section of the weight on her chest. She felt lighter, and less numb to everything around her. "She's gone." She whispered again. A tear slipped down her face.

Selma looked at her, liquid gathering in her brown eyes, spilling over the edges. A silent confession, but one that spoke to Bea, "You're right." She wished she wasn't, but she couldn’t do anything about that. But that was okay, right?

Maybe they could rest easy with doing nothing for a while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night when Bea laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling as usual, she felt like the burden of worry had simply disappeared from her shoulders, and she closed her eyes to finally sleep.

She dreamed of Mae, standing at the edge of the woods, back where they had gone to the party right after she came home from college. Yet this time, it was just her and Bea. Mae had her back to her, but turned with a relaxed smile on her face, her dark navy fur shining in silver under the moonlight. "I'll miss you, BeaBea." She said, softly.

If this were a month ago- hell, maybe even a day ago- Bea would've frowned and asked her why, why did she have to leave? Why couldn't she take her with her? Or just stay here, where it's safe, where her friends are, who love her and care for her? But right then, at that moment, all she said was, "I'll miss you too, Mayday."

Mae's smile grew. "Thank you," she replied, though Bea didn't know why she was thanking her. But at that, she turned and walked into the night, into the woods.

To never walk out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy 4th of july everyone!!!
> 
> coincidentally its also my one year anniversary with my gf so that's pretty neat :P
> 
> I should've posted this like a week ago but everything has been so hectic and I kept forgetting and excuses and stuff  
> but here it is! and it's sad and i may or may not have like cried while writing it but hey, that's when you know it's good right
> 
> also I somehow wrote Bea going through the five stages of grief and I didn't even mean to????? that's so wild like I thought I had to pay attention to that shit but apparently not
> 
> like this shit should be taught in middle school english classes, "look how the author uses the mist as a symbol for her clouded emotions" ahah syke that wasn't even purposeful
> 
> oh by the way, the title is a reference to a song in Steven Universe and I couldn't stop singing it like the entire time while editing this  
> if you somehow haven't heard it, here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ussqi3nagrQ
> 
> thanks for reading and please, leave a comment! 
> 
> ~bye ^-^
> 
>  
> 
> oh, right, also, to answer the title's question...
> 
> it's not over, hehehehe.... *laughter slowly fades out as the author fades into the **darkness** with a maniacal smile on their face*


	3. Unfamiliar Familiarities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Think of it as a continuation of chapter one.

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

_...fell..._

 

 

_And fell..._

_And fell..._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was nothing. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No light. 

 

 

 

 

 

No dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No _Mae._

 

 

 

 

 

And yet...

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was. 

 

Everything felt... like nothing. Mae could tell that she was there, that she existed, but _there_ wasn't anywhere. Only darkness surrounded her, no sight, no sounds, no smells, just an empty, forever-ongoing void. 

Where was she?

It was a little disconcerting, to exist in space where nothing else seemed to exist, but oddly, Mae felt almost at peace. Like she was meant to be there. This was her destiny, to disappear, to exist in a space all of her own, with no one else to hurt, with no one else to hurt her. 

The voices were gone, as if they were never there in the first place, and Mae's head was left in a peaceful silence, the way it should be. Despite nothing being there, Mae felt like she was finally free. She felt like she could do anything, or nothing at all, to her heart's content. After all, she wasn't much alive to deal with the consequences, so what did it matter?

She closed her eyes- it was useless to have them open anyway- and relaxed back into the infinity that she was falling in. 

_Falling..._

_Falling..._

_Falling..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

 

 

_haha wait...!_

 

 

...

 

 

_no! no you're- ch- ting..!_

 

 

 

...

 

You know, it was getting real hard to relax with all that ruckus in the background. Mae wished the children would just be quiet. 

 

...

 

 

_wait- no that- ... -ot fair!_

_too bad! haha..!-_

 

...

 

Wait, children?!

Mae's eyes shot open to reveal the dark yet again, but she swore she heard children's voices in the distant. She tried looking around, but there wasn't anything to be seen. Her ears and eyes strained to find the sources. 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

_...what about you?..._

_me? nah I don't wanna play._

"Casey?!" The word came over of her mouth before she could realize it, sounding disbelieving, but also pained. He was dead, he was supposed to be dead, just like her, that couldn't be him. Why did it sound so much like him?

 

_...you hear that?_

_is there someone else here?_

 

Joy. The little voices sounded excited to have another person in their little world. 

 

_no... I know that voice…_

They were so close. Mae tried to move, to push herself towards wherever they were, being alone felt like a curse right now, but there was nothing to grab or push on. Only darkness.

Just an endless darkness. 

Mae cried out, "Is anyone there?" Desperately, helplessly, doubting that anything she could do would get her where she wants. But where did she even want to be? This was just in her head again, wasn't it? She'd been in this void for maybe five minutes and she's already gone crazy. Casey wasn't there. No one was there. She was just crazy and alone. Maybe the voices hadn't gone away after all. 

But they didn't sound like they came from her head. 

 

...

 

 

...

 

_...it's okay... -eep playin' I'll- ...watch..._

_...-k!..._

 

 

Just ignore it Mae, they don't exist. It's all in your head. 

 

...

 

...

 

 

_Falling..._

 

 

...

 

...

 

She flinched, something touched her shoulder. 

 

...

 

"It's okay."

 

...

 

...

 

"You can open your eyes now."

Mae blinking awake to reveal Casey, standing just before her, grasping tight to her shoulder. He seemed calm, but she could tell that he was trying to hold back his surprise and bewilderment. He smiled, the shy one that he only showed to his friends in a moment of seriousness. Back in the day, she would only see that when she and Gregg and him were getting deep. Not extremely rare, considering Mae’s mental issues and Gregg’s insecurities, but uncommon enough for her to miss it with all the world.

She almost wanted to ask him why the hell he decided to run away without telling anyone, but then the memory of what the cult guy told her knocked her clean off her feet and she froze. He was dead, the whole time he was dead in the bottom of an endless hole and she and the others just thought he ran away. He died, and nobody cared. He died, and no one bothered to look for him.

And now she was dead too.

Her arms flew around his chest and she buried her head in his shirt, which was stained with the usual motorbike grease and dirt from scuffling with Gregg during their crimes. He was missing his signature black hoodie, but none of that mattered right now. She held on to him tightly, as if he would drift away if she let go. She was so confused, why were they here? Where was here? How could he be standing in front of her, if they were both dead?

Casey laughed, making his chest shake and consequently Mae’s head as well. He pulled away, but still held onto her shoulders, “Well, I can’t say I expected that, you were never much of a hugger, Mae.”

This couldn’t be real. “What… what even is this place?” She looked around again, into the never-ending darkness, as if the answer were there, until her eyes met his. “How are you here, they said they…?”

“I know,” he let go of her shoulders, “I know, but I’m not one to ask. I’m afraid I know just as much as you.”

Mae seriously doubted that, but before she could ask anything else-

"Hi!" Mae looked away finally, still trying to come to terms with everything, but confident enough to tear her eyes away from Casey and instead to the child that greeted her. 

"Hi." She said back. She didn't recognize this kid, but he looked really familiar.  He was a bear, about as short as her, probably still in middle school. 

"What's your name?"

"Mae." Where did she see this kid?

"I'm Abe, and this is Charlotte." The kid pointed to a smaller child- gods she couldn't be older than 9- that was hiding behind him. She poked her head out and waved, but was obviously weary of the new face. 

She studied the boy for a moment, but then it hit her. "Oh," her smile fell, "oh no, oh gosh I know where I've seen you before." 

He looked at her confused, "I don't think I've ever met you..?"

"No," she shook her head, "no, no- on Harfest you were... you were outside on your phone. And then... oh no."

Abe’s face fell blank as he recalled what she was talking about. He looked down for a moment, but looked back up, smiling, "You saw that? It's whatever, I doubt anyone missed me anyway." He shrugged and pulled Charlotte back to wherever they were playing. "I'm bored, I'll talk to you later, come on Charlotte!" They skipped off and Mae was left with Casey. 

She noticed their surroundings, it looked exactly the same, the same darkness, same void, but apparently there was an invisible floor? She couldn't feel it, but she sensed she was standing on something, and that she would walk about if she wanted. "What the hell even is this place?" she mumbled to herself. 

"I don't know. It must be like, the center of the void or something. I haven't figured it out." Casey spoke up, having heard her open question. 

Mae looked up at him, "So we're dead, right? Like I'm not wrong for assuming that."

"Yeah, I'd say so. We all ended up down that hole in one way or another. Whether we died on the way or before." He said solemnly. "My guess is that this is where the victims go when they have people that still miss them."

"Miss them?" She couldn’t see why that would be logical.

"Yeah." He crossed his arms, gazing at the children who continued playing tag. "There was another kid here, before Abe showed up, she had gotten here even before Charlotte. It's hard to tell time in this place, but I must've been here for a month before she just disappeared. I have no idea how long she'd been here before that, or if there was anyone before her, but I'm guessing that she finally went to heaven or whatever, since no one was looking for her anymore."

Silence.

"...that's sad." Mae said. 

"Eh, it's a reassurance that's no one's forgotten you, if I'm right that is."

"I guess."

"It's strange how soon you ended up here right after Abe, or that you ended up here at all. I thought you were at college?" Casey looked at her with curiosity in his eyes, and a bit of bewilderment. 

That's right, the people said they only got people who didn’t contribute to society or wouldn’t be missed- if only they knew about this place- and last time Casey saw her, she was heading off to make something of herself. 

"I... came back. I couldn't do it." Mae explained everything about her mental issues, and the shapes, and how scared she was away from home. 

He listened without interruption, except once to elaborate on how Gregg and Angus were doing- he knew they'd stay together- and about the state of the band. He simply stood and supplied comfort as she vented her anxiety, like she did when she talked with Bea the night she left. She mentioned that to him as well. 

When she was done, she let out a sigh of relief and looked to him for a reaction. Casey thought for a moment, letting all the information sink in, then, "First of all, you all thought I ran away? Well Angus and Bea I could understand, but Gregg and you? You should know I'd tell you guys everything!" He threw his hands in the air in exaggeration and laughed dryly. "I guess it doesn't matter though, 'ts not like any of you could find me anyway." 

Mae looked away guiltily, they didn't even try to find him, and now that she thought about it, it was suspicious for him to leave without a trace.

He threw an arm around her playfully, "Hey, don't worry about it. I had told Gregg a while before that I had thought about it. It's whatever. But what I wanna know is," he let go and crossed his arms again, "what the hell were you thinking?! Getting up while the others slept to go fight the cult on your own? Are you stupid? That's so dumb!"

Mae blushed and turned away, "I didn't know what else to do..." she mumbled.

"Then talk to your friends!" He threw his arms up again- she definitely saw where Gregg got it from- and huffed, "You weren't supposed to end up like me, Mae. You were supposed to go to college, get a real job, make your parents proud. Not end up in a stupid hole because of some stupid cult of lonely ass dads."

"What's an ass-dad?" Mae asked and Casey smacked her arm. 

"Not the point!"

"So they explained their shitty plan to you too?"

"Pfft, yeah. They made sure to let me know just how much of a disappointment I was before they killed me."

Mae wanted to lighten this pessimistic mode, maybe by saying their run on joke like "Too bad they didn't kill you with a flamethrower." But it seemed in poor taste since they were actually dead.

"They're wrong, you know?" She settled for. 

"What?"

"They're wrong about you, or about anyone they decided to 'sacrifice'." She made air quotes with her paws so show how stupid the idea of the cult was. "You're still missed, you were important to the town in a lot of ways." She huffed and frowned. "Screw them for thinking that they can decide that. Who lives and who dies, it's stupid. It's fucking stupid."

Casey shrugged, and looked off at the other kids, "Not much we can do about that now."

"..." Mae didn't say anything else. She wished she could do something. Anything that would change the events that led to this. She wished she could go back in time, to stop that stupid cult from forming in the first place. To stop them from taking Casey, from screwing up her life, from killing anybody. Before this void felt calming, but now she realized that she's just as powerless as she was when she was alive. 

Casey looked at her, watching her face scrunch up in thought, realizing that she needed some time alone. "I'm gonna go check on the kids," he said, stepping forward to make sure she understood him. When she nodded, still frowning, he walked off, yelling to Abe to ask if he could join their game. 

Mae stayed watching them for a moment then turned to journey feeling into the void, thinking that a short walk would help her mood. Although that never did much in the past, she ran all over the town once she came back from college, and yet she ended up here anyway. Even as the other inhabitants grew father and father the more she paced, her surroundings never changed. It was the same ever-extending darkness no matter where she turned, the same silence in every direction, never ending. Every step away made her a little less sure of her existence. It felt as though her physical body were floating away, piece by piece, until she was nothing but a drifting conscious. Was it off putting? Sort of, but it did offer a thinking session free from distraction for Mae. 

She wondered for a moment how life was back in the real world. Was anyone looking for her? Probably, but they would give up before long as realizing she just walked to her death. They wouldn’t be able to find a body, or a note, or any reason at all. Or maybe they’d just think she ran away, like Casey. It would make sense, she obviously wasn’t happy where she was, with who she was. But then they’d think she’d come back one day. It was better for everyone to just think she was dead. She hoped that was the case.

But what about Gregg and Angus, Bea, her mom and dad, they wouldn’t just accept that, would they? No, they’d always have the hope that their friend/daughter would come back home from whatever journey she went on. The funny thing about hope, though, is it always runs out at some point. They’d forget her, or at least accept the fact that she’s gone. Mae hoped that wouldn’t take long.

After all, the world is better off without her.

**“£°•½©$@ &*^µ½ *+@@<]£{“ **She stopped walking, or maybe she had stopped a while back, she couldn’t remember.

“You know I can’t understand you.” Mae said to him. Although she didn’t recognize whatever language he was speaking, it spiked a sense of familiarity through her, and she knew at once it was the Black Goat. The demon that supposedly lived at the bottom of the hole. The one the cult killed for.

In front of her, the darkness swirled, glimmering in an unknown light, until the crude shape of a large, pitch black goat was formed. He seemed to be made of the same darkness –like the space between stars- as the background around him, yet Mae could easily distinguish him. **“I always forget how simple-brained you creatures are, so very small, and so very dumb.”** His voice sounded gravelly, and deep. It echoed as if they were in an auditorium. His figure circled around her, and her eyes followed. **“Your entire existence is pointless, full of greed and envy, unable to see the universe as it is because you are simply caught in your own world.”**

Mae couldn’t tell if he was rambling to attempt to explain her own species to her, or just because he liked to hear his own voice. “And what would that be?” she asked sarcastically.

**“Uncontrollable. So much more than you could ever be.”** To demonstrate, he raised his head and the void around them sprang to life, enacting a vision of the deep vastness of space. She looked around, astounded at the infinite lights and colors, seeing so much more than the journey to Scout’s Peak with Angus. Time moved forward and expanded. Stars exploded, and shrank, planets flew around and burned up and collided, dust circled and condensed into a fiery ball of light and magma. She saw the earth die. Her head grew dizzy, so much, too much was happening all at once for her brain to comprehend. It grew faster. The earth’s sun collapsed after growing to an enormous size. Stars and debris flew by, darkness swirled and swallowed up everything, including the light around it. Galaxies collided in explosions so big and so hot that the universe itself pushed outward to expel the energy. The demon lay watching with cold lightless eyes in the center. **“But that’s not all,”** the scene zoomed out at a blurring speed until the stars and planets faded out to a dull black, **“It is also falling apart.”** Mae was reminded of her dream with ‘God’ when she was the parasites again. They were everywhere, tearing apart the fabric of space with their biters, she could see holes and nothingness laying in the edges of her vision. She watched the hole shrivel and attempt to fix itself but instead one of the creatures would force its head through and tear it outward, making the most terrible sounds of ripping apart matter itself. He was right, everything was dying. How long would it take before her world died too?

“Stop,” she whispered, almost in a plea. He laughed, and let the motion continue for another grueling moment, making her shiver in uneasiness. But when he finally returned the void, she was still shaking. Or not, she still wasn’t sure if she was real at all.

**“As I said, you are too simple to comprehend it all. Although I still find it enjoyable to see you afraid.”**

It took her a moment to focus on him again, the lights and horrors kept flashing across her vision. “S-so what th-then? Can you d-do anything about i-it?” she couldn’t stop her voice from stuttering.

**“Of course not. The universe does what it wants.”**

She gulped, “S-so who are you then? Why are y-you here?” There wouldn’t be a reason to have an all-powerful demon if he was powerless to the world.

**“I am here because the opportunity presented itself. Gullible humans with nothing else to turn to, who lose faith in their foolish false God, who would kill to believe their world would be fixed. Do not be deceived, small one, I am far from powerless.”** He grew his size until he took up her entire vision, and she couldn’t look away. She shook again, afraid of what he might do to her. But then again, she was already dead, so what’s the worst he could do?

She heard that laugh again, **“More than you could ever imagine.”**

Then there was only darkness once again.

****

She was walking slowly, clutching her stomach, eyes closed but pointed to the ground. Déjà vu hit her hard, making her head ache. “What..?” she drawled as she looked up and opened her eyes to see… Eide, that ghost guy, standing on the base of the hill in front of her. She could tell he was staring right at her, but he didn’t say anything.

For a moment she just stared back, trying to wrap her head around the situation. She felt the urge to follow him, but at the same time she felt like she didn’t belong there, like she had been through this before.

Before she could even think to say or do anything though, an arrow flew by her and appeared in the shoulder of the ghost-man, and he let out a soul-shaking yell before running off, back towards the mine. She spun around in disbelief to see Gregg, Angus, and Bea all standing there. “What… what are you doing here?” She asked incredulously.

“What? Did you seriously think we were gonna let you go off alone?” Gregg said, as if she had asked the stupidest question in the world. He balanced his crossbow back on his shoulder and grinned at her.

_But you did let me_ , Mae wanted to say, but that wouldn’t make any sense. This was obviously the only time she had done this, but then why did it seem so familiar, and yet completely foreign all the same? Everything was so confusing. “Guys, this is… this is something I’ve gotta do on my own.” She told them, hoping that they would just go back home and let her accept her fate.

None of them said anything for a while. “Anyway, let’s get a move on.” Bea said, walking past her as she led the way up the hill. Mae wanted to argue, but she was just so tired, so she followed behind silently. Her gaze fell to the gray, dead ground, as she struggled to keep up. Once they got to the top of the hill that overlooked the mine entrance, the others stopped. Bea turned back to Mae, who was still breathing raggedly and grasping her stomach, “You sure you want to do this? There’s still time to turn back.” She said, lighting another cigarette.

Mae waited a moment to calm her breathing- why did everything feel so _off_?- before replying, “I can… I can do it. You guys should wait here.”

“Alright then,” Bea said, completely ignoring that last part of her reply, “Let’s go then.”

They traversed through the mines in silence, with their shadows dancing behind them under the multiple lanterns that littered the cave walls. Angus offered to carry Mae, but she refused, she didn’t need any of them wasting any more of their energy on her.

Soon enough, the lanterns grew scarce and sent the four travelling blindly in the pitch black darkness. Bea’s cigarette was the only source of light, but it didn’t do much for lighting the way. Bea –still leading the pack- announced that she felt a doorway after a few seconds.

“Shh! We don’t want them to know we’re here!” Gregg whispered.

“They would’ve already heard the elevator, bug.” Angus whispered back.

“Oh.”

“Anyway,” Bea said, with the voice that meant she most likely rolled her eyes.

She walked through slowly, so the others could keep up. The doorway led to a decline, to which she side stepped down carefully. Gregg held onto Angus’s arm, with Mae holding his shoulder to make sure she kept her balance - the darkness was giving her vertigo.

All of a sudden, Bea’s ear-splitting scream rang through the air then trailed off quickly, it sounded like she fell down something. Something _deep_.

“What the fuck!?” Gregg yelled as he stopped, clutching his boyfriend.

“Bea?” Angus said aloud in a terrified voice, pulling Gregg closer to him. Mae felt her stomach drop even further.

“Hah,” a deep laugh resounded through the cave, “Looks like our plan worked, boys.” In an instant, a lantern lit and the cave was flooded with a dull orange light, revealing twenty of so people in dark cloaks standing across a giant hole in the earth. Out of the corner of his eye, Angus sensed two more of them standing in the doorway behind them.

“What the fuck is this?!” Gregg yelled out again.

“None of your concern.” The cloaked guy answered before raising hand and waving once. Before they could say anything else, one of the guys standing behind them grabbed Mae around her stomach while the other sprinted towards the boys. “No!” Mae screamed, thrashing around in her captor’s arms, despite her head pounding violently. She watched helplessly as the other cult member rammed straight into Angus and Gregg, knocking them clean into the hole, resigning them to the same fate as Bea did before them. Their screams combined with Mae’s and echoed in her mind until her captor locked an arm around her neck and pulled to the side. She heard a sickening **_crack_** before falling limp and watching blindly as the world faded to black.

*****

“It was a miracle, that hole they found. One that saved the town from dying out. And the miracles kept coming, as long as we kept him satisfied.” Mae just blinked and looked around confused. She was back in the mines?

Wait, back? When was she here before?

The old guy, the cult member nearest to her kept talking, “All we had to do was keep feeding him, it was easy. We only got people didn’t contribute nothin’ to our town, who wouldn’t be missed, so none would be the wiser.”

A name came to her mind, “Gregg?” she whimpered. Wait, no, that couldn’t be right. It was Casey who went missing, not Gregg. Why did she think Gregg?

“You… killed him?” Someone- Casey- breathed out behind her, in disbelief. He clicked open the pocketknife he kept in his hoodie’s pocket at all times, but Mae doubted anyone could see it. “How **dare** you?! Which one of you did it, I swear to god I’m gonna kill you!” His voice echoed his rage throughout the cave.

“Oh, please, that little fag was going nowhere in life.” One of the others said, and Mae could feel Casey physically quaking with anger.

“Did the town a favor if you ask me.” Someone else said, and that was the last straw for Casey.

He screamed, jumping in front of Mae, and threw the pocketknife at the guy in front. Mae couldn’t look away as the guy slumped to the ground, the knife handle sticking out of his head.

She couldn’t seem to move. She heard a gunshot echo, then silence. Casey choked, and clutched his now bleeding stomach as the armed cult member across the hole lowered his rifle. “Wrong choice, son,” the guy said.

Casey coughed again- oh god that was blood- and he fell forward, seemingly in slow motion, into the hole. Mae screamed his name, then just kept screaming, her final semblance of sanity breaking as she grabbed her head, willing the universe to make this all a dream. She fell to her knees and it all faded to black once again.

****

“Shit!” Mae said aloud, watching the group torture one of their members in front of the cave entrance. That sure as hell was a mistake, since everyone below looked up to see the four.

She thought she heard one say her name but then Gregg yelled, “Run!!” and she couldn’t even think as she and the other sprinted back towards the town. She ran as fast as she could, breathing heavily as her lack-of-endurance betrayed her. Footsteps echoed behind her, but she was too afraid to turn around.

They were getting closer, and she was scared, she barely recognized where she was. There! Just ahead was a drop off, if she can just get there, they’ll surely turn around, since no one else is stupid enough to jump off a cliff.

But only a few feet before, Mae heard a gunshot, and pain exploded throughout her head. She was… she couldn’t, they fucking shot her! Her feet finally failed her and she fell to the ground, unable to focus on anything in front of her as it got progressively harder to even breathe. Blood poured down the right side of her head, into her eyes, her nose, her mouth, she couldn’t breathe, she was going to suffocate. Her life was slipping away from her, and soon she couldn’t even feel the pain anymore. The two following her stopped and picked her up, dragging her lifeless body off of the ground and back to the mines as she stared off at nothing until the world finally faded and she slipped away…

***

“Stop it! Make it stop...” Mae cried as she cowered in front of the demon. She held her head in her paws, trying to will away the visions and nightmares in her head of her, or her friends or loved ones, dying over and over again. She knew they were all figments, just dreams to torture her, but they all seemed so _real_.

**“I will admit, I was beginning to grow bored with the creatures on the surface. Their blind, and mislead faith was entertaining at first, but it had lost my interest soon enough. This, however,”** he grinned at her, evil, sinister, his teeth made of the corners of space, **“Is the most entertained I have been in a long time.”**

“Please,” Mae whimpered, she didn’t know how much more her mind could take, “I’ll do anything.”

**“Oh, and do tell, what could you possibly do for me?”**

“I don’t know,” she cried, “I don’t know…”

**“Hmm,”** he thought for a moment, **“Perhaps I could think of something, but it shall take a while. Not that it matters, we have all the time in the universe.”** He laughed again before vanishing into the void, leaving Mae alone, stuck with the endless visions of endless world, all ending in unstoppable tragedy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> allllright its finally up  
> honestly I've had this chapter have written for the last week but didn't get it done until like two days ago because, well, what else am I going to do on a 12 hour plane ride?
> 
> speaking of which, I'm in Japan! I'm gonna be here for like two weeks on a guided tour with my mom and its super cool, I've always wanted to go and being here is just like mind blowing and I've got some free time in the mornings to keep writing (I've already got the next chapter like halfway done)
> 
> I know this chapter was long and kind of confusing (and I kind of went all 'undertale' with the end there) but I aim to break people's hearts and this is the only way I know how to do it
> 
> now just begs the question of: is any of this actually real?
> 
> thanks for reading, and leave a comment to tell me what you think is happening/going to happen ^-^  
> ~byee


	4. Something A-miss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if it were expected that everyone had gotten over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooooo I'm back!
> 
> is that a good thing, who knows??
> 
> don't kill me for this thanks

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

The dull static of the bear’s voice through the small cellphone speaker reminded her that it had been a while since Angus had called. Bea would’ve called first, but she never got around to knowing their schedules, and she always told herself they were too busy to have to deal with something as simple as a phone call from her. Still, she wished they could talk more often.

“I know you’re probably swamped at the Ol’ Pickaxe,” Angus said, sarcastically, but then switched to a more serious tone, “but I need you to come to visit again, as soon as you can.”

Bea frowned, concerned, “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t… know? I just, I just really need your help with something.” He replied.

It wasn’t often that Angus was at a loss for words, so Bea’s concerns only grew at his answer, but she decided to wait to ask him about it in person. “Sure,” she said, “I’ll see about coming tomorrow. Would that be okay?”

“Yes, yes that’s good. I’m off tomorrow, I’ll text you the apartment address.”

They both said their goodbyes and hung up. Bea thought for a moment about what could be wrong, but couldn’t really get an idea from Angus’s vague answer. Something was obviously wrong, he just didn’t know how to explain it. It must be really important to require Bea’s assistance in person, but that was fine with her, since she’s always glad to visit whenever she can.

Angus had called while she was at work, so once she finished her shift and went home that evening she asked her dad- not drunk but definitely on his third beer- about taking off the next day. It was still a tough subject for him, since he still held the grudge from her ‘blatant rebellion’ of closing the shop the day she looked for Mae. They argued for a bit, but he eventually, albeit reluctantly, allowed her to take the day off.

The next morning, she slept in a few hours then started on her way to Bright Harbor around noon, much more chipper than usual with the prospect of seeing her best friends again. She hoped that by the time she crossed into the suburbs, the morning rush would be over and traffic would be light going onto the city. The trip was about an hour, but with traffic it could be as much as three, so driving early afternoon or after ten was the best bet. She passed rolling corn fields, and some dense forests, then cows and horses, all which slowly connected to the suburbs near to Springfield. The small-but-not-as-small-as-her-own town held many memories of the times the group spent there during junior and high school. The mall was always the hangout spot for the punk older kids, and the troublemakers of the group (Mae, Gregg, and Casey, of course) always wanted to act like the rebellious bunch, so they drove there whenever they could. Despite the high amount of crimes that you could assume went on there, the food court wasn’t that bad, and a lot of memories were made there. Bea smiled when they came to her, but tried not to get too distracted from her driving, lest she get in an accident.

The population and businesses condensed the further she went after that, until suddenly the city shot up into the skyline, with the ocean glimmering in the overhead sun just beyond. She went over a bridge that crossed a river- though she couldn’t remember the name of it,- then into the narrow streets between towering buildings. Angus and Gregg’s apartment was nearer to the water, though on the south side where the buildings hung considerably lower and where the fishing harbors and canning factories sat on the edge of the coast, since that’s all they could afford. She passed by the little diner they ate at during her first visit, then finally found the apartment complex they lived at. To be honest, it didn’t look much better than the ones at Possum Springs, but with that run-down shithole as a baseline, anything was an improvement. After parking- and making sure her car was locked- she took one last drag before tossing her cigarette among the other rejects outside and buzzed Angus’s apartment.

“Bea? Hey, you can come on up.” said his voice though the small speaker. She took the elevator to his floor and knocked, smiling when he invited her in. The room wasn’t all that bad, a bit bigger than their old apartment, with the kitchen and living room made into one. And they actually had a dining room table now. There was a large window along one wall that pointed towards the ocean, although it was where the fisherman docked with their large, rusted old boats. It was still a pretty sight beyond that, where it looked like the ocean continued on forever. She wondered what it was like to be at the other side.

“Come, sit, I know it’s not much but make yourself at home. Would you like some tea?“ Angus asked. Bea wasn’t really one for tea, but he looked like he needed it, with how stressed he was, so she nodded. He busied himself with that while Bea looked around some more. The room wasn’t all that decorated, but she didn’t expect it to be, since neither had the time or money to worry about such things. Though, there were some pictures laying around. One was of the two of them, both in their graduation robes, then another at the after party. There was Bea and Angus, back when they were in the computer club together, then with Gregg on his birthday. There was even one of Gregg and Casey after one of their knife fights. They were both smiling despite their hands being covered in cuts. Each frame may have held different memories, but followed the same pattern, each missing the same person, until she saw the small, framed polaroid on the TV stand - the only one on there. It had a close-up of Angus and Gregg’s faces with Mae sandwiched between them, wearing a hat with her college’s logo on it. Gregg looked to be in the middle of his signature shout (AWOOOOO!!!) while she was grinning ear to ear. That must’ve been the day when she left for college, Bea remembered that Angus had told her about it, but she made an excuse not to go. Something about her (ex- at the time) best friend going to college while she was forced to stay in that dumb town just put her in a bad mood. Plus, she doubted Mae would’ve wanted to see her that day anyway. Bea looked around once before turning back the picture, and wondered why that was the only picture of Mae they had.

“He doesn’t understand,” Angus grumbled as he set down cups of tea for the two of them, sitting down in a chair across from her and staring at the same frame, “We had more of her, trust me, we did. But I told him that we had to make a fresh start here, and having her face everywhere he turned? It was the same as it was in the Springs.” He sighed.

“Well, I would say that happy memories and missing posters are two very different reminders,” Bea looked back at him and sipped at the tea. She preferred coffee, but it wasn’t the worst she’s had.

“It all had the same effect in my book.” He said sadly, practically chugging the hot drink.

She shrugged, “So what’s with the hurried visit? Not that I’m not glad to see you, it’s just you sounded pretty intense over the phone. Have you been sleeping alright?” The fixed gloomy expression on his face made him look like he hadn’t slept in weeks, and 10 years older.

“Not really, no.”

She leaned back, surprised- she wasn’t really expected a straightforward response, although Angus was never really one to lie, “What’s on your mind?”

“Heh, what isn’t on my mind,” He sounded grim, but cleared his throat so he could start at the beginning, “I have a friend who lives in the northern part of the city, so he had a job waiting for me when we got here, and a week ago I got a promotion, less hours, unfortunately, but the pay is better.”

“That’s great, what kind of job is it?”

“Some IT facility down the road, used to work customer service, but now I can actually work on the development team for fixing stuff, and there’s some other stuff, but that’s not really the point.”

She nodded and sipped at her tea again.

“I’m pretty happy here, like I’ve got a fun job that’s got good pay, of course it’s not enough to support us solely but, the point is, I’m doing fine, but I don’t know about Gregg. Wait, I lied, I do know. He’s miserable, and I don’t know what to do.” He let out another frustrated sign and drank more tea.

“Okay, okay, slow down there, big guy. Why do you think he’s unhappy? Do you think it’s with the relationship, or life in general?”

“God, I hope it’s not with our relationship. I don’t think it is, but still, every day he comes home from his shitty job and barely talks or does anything. They work him full time all week _and_ on weekends, Bea, and they only count the overtime half the time. I’ve tried telling him to get a new job, one with better management or a better corporation behind them, but he won’t listen! He keeps saying that this is as good as it’s going to get and I don’t know what to do.” He rubbed his hands over his eyes, pushing up his glasses in the process.

Bea offered a comforting hand on his shoulder, “It’s alright, Angus, it’ll be alright. Maybe we should stage an intervention of sorts?”

“Maybe… but he definitely won’t like that.” he muttered, but leaned into her hand.

They sat in silence for a moment before Bea got up to refill their cups, and when she sat back down she asked, “What time does he get off?”

“Uh,” he looked up at the clock on the wall, “In about an hour, I think. He was scheduled for an early shift today, and their not as busy mid-week, so I doubt they’d give him a double shift.”

“Well, why don’t we wait for him to get home, and then we’ll talk about it. But in the meantime, tell me about your job, do you have to deal with stupid people?”

“Oh, do I ever.”

And so they filled the hour with light-heated rants about people who are rude to retail workers, sticking solely to the present and never the past, though Bea doubted she would mind now. Ever since that day with Selma, she’s felt more open about the events that happened almost half a year ago, less guilty and sad, and lately she’s focused more on the good memories they had instead of blaming herself. Things are looking up, especially now that summer’s hit the town, people seem more lively and out and about. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a shitty town, but the winter depression passed for most the residents, so it’s not _as_ shitty.

The door turned and opened an hour later, revealing a very tired looking Gregg, still in his work uniform. “ ’M home cap’n,” he called out sluggishly, then looked up towards the kitchen, as if he knew that’s where his love would be, “Oh, hey Bea.” He perked up a little at the sight of her, but it didn’t make him look any more alive.

“You look like shit dude.” Bea said suddenly, and Angus looked at her, surprised at her bluntness. She was right though, the shadows under his eyes made him look more like a racoon than a vulpine.

Gregg only smiled dimly, “Thanks, it’s a look,” he replied as he hung up his keys next to the door. He got a can of fizz soda out of the fridge before sitting down in the seat next to his boyfriend, laying his head on the other’s shoulder. “So what brings you to the big city? You finally getting away from that dump?”

“Not yet, still lacking the funds.”

“That sucks,” he opened the can and guzzled some, then sighed, “I’d offer to have you bunk here, but I doubt Angus would like that.”

“It’s cool, someone’s gotta take care of my dad anyway.” She said it nonchalantly, but lately her dad’s just been getting worse, and it’s really putting a strain on her. Now wasn’t the time for all that, though.

“Actually, I invited her over,” Angus spoke up, taking another sip of his tea, “I’m worried about you, bug.”

“What do you mean? Angus, what is this?” Gregg asked, confused and little betrayed.

“Dude, I wasn’t kidding earlier, you look like death.” Bea said.

“So what?”

“ _So_ ,” Bea emphasized, “your boyfriend is worried about you, and frankly, I am too. You used to be a little ball of energy and destruction and now you look like you wouldn’t even be able to _hold_ a knife, let alone fight with one.” Maybe she came on a little too strong with that, but Gregg was old enough by this point not to be coddled.

Gregg stared at her, bewildered, then glanced at Angus to confirm, and he just looked away, “Well, I don’t know about you, Bea, but I haven’t really had the time to do ‘crimes’ anymore, especially since the cops are basically everywhere here. Stupid petty things have actual weight here.”

“But you _should_ have the time for yourself, Gregg. Maybe not to break laws or anything, but you shouldn’t be working so tirelessly in a job that isn’t treating you like a person!” Bea spoke sternly.

“And what could I do about that?” He rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know, get a new job? Join a union? Borrow some money and go to school? It doesn’t matter, Gregg, you know me and Angus would support you with whatever you choose. You deserve to be happy.”

“How about you stop telling me how to live my life.” His voice dropped to a threatening level as he glared at Bea. The tension in the air seemingly causing the world to stop.

“She’s right, bug.” Angus said calmly, putting his paw over Gregg’s, “I want you to be happy, I want us _both_ to be happy.”

Gregg stayed silent and looked away, snarling, “But what about Mae.”

“Mae?” Bea asked, “What about her?”

He stood up suddenly, pulling his arm out from under Angus’s hand, “What about _her_ happiness!? How could I _possibly_ deserve to be happy when she’s probably dying out there, with no one looking for her? Or better yet, already dead, alone in some hole in the ground in the middle of nowhere?” He yelled, his eyes welling up, threatening to overflow.

Bea was taken aback, shocked at the vulpine’s sudden outburst. Both she and Angus stayed quiet.

“Why won’t you say anything?” He said, angrily, “Oh, I know, you’ve already given up, haven’t you? You and the rest of that fucked up town. Am I the _only_ one that still cares about her!?”

“Of course not,” Bea said blankly, “But you’ve gotta come to terms with the fact that she’s not coming back, Gregg.”

“How could you say that!?” he yelled again, “She could still be out there, lost and alone while we’re sitting here doing nothing!”

“We did all we could, bug.” Angus said quietly.

Gregg sat back down, putting his head in his hands, “But we didn’t _find_ her, Angus. I failed her, she trusted me and I let her down.” He muttered, his anger diminished.

“Oh, _you_ failed her?” Bea spoke up, casting a dark tone.

Angus looked concerned, “Bea-?“

“No, no Gregg. You didn’t fail her. If anything, _I’m_ the one who failed her.”

He looked up questioningly.

“That night, that fucking night she got out of the hospital and snuck over to your apartment, we laid on the couch together, and she told me everything. Everything about the softball game when she almost killed Andy, her fucked up hallucinations, how fucking _scared_ she was because Possum Springs, the _only_ place she felt safe, was turning into a haunted, murder-y, dead-end grave of a town. And then? I just told her to go to sleep. I fucking told her to sleep, then I passed out, and she wasn’t there in the morning.” Bea felt her eyes watering again, but held them back, she wasn’t sad right now. She couldn’t be sad right now. “She poured her heart out to me, and I ignored her. And now she’s gone. And she’s not coming back.”

She looked up at Gregg and Angus, both staring with wide eyes.

“She’s gone.” Bea repeated, wiping away any stray tears. She didn’t mean to cry, but the pure emotions she had to pull in order to convince Gregg caused her body to respond with the waterworks. Exhaustion washed over her, mostly because she could still feel the drain from her moment with Selma a while back. Too many feelings, not enough space.

Gregg looked crossed, his expressions switching between anger and disbelief and sadness again and again, too fast to stop and think of what to say in response. Angus simply stared, full of understanding.

“But you know what, Gregg? I realized that I can go on my whole life blaming myself and hating everything that I could’ve done but didn’t do, or continue beating myself up for letting her down when she needed me until I’m long dead, but none of that will change anything.” Bea spoke calmly, feeling too embarrassed from her outburst to look either of the eye. “So I forgave myself. I tried to stop thinking about everything so negatively, and instead just remember us and Mae for all the good times we had, because, well, that’s all we have right?” She smiled. “Of her, maybe, but for us? We have the rest of our lives to get to where we need to be and enjoy what we have and what we had before.

“And,” she reached across the table to place a hand over his, “to be honest, I’ll never truly give up on looking. Every time I walk down the street I swear I can hear her voice or her laugh or the sound of her running through the leaves or snow. At work I always find myself waiting for her to come strolling in to bother me or ask to hang out. And God, I hate the fact that whenever I open my computer the only thing on my screen is her screenname, still unchanged from when she wrote it in high school.”

“That’s never gonna change, is it?” mumbled Gregg, resting back against his boyfriend once again.

She waited a moment. “No,” she whispered, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat awkwardly, not really expected to give a monologue today. “I should probably go.” She knew that Gregg needed some time to think and talk to Angus, so she took her leave. The bear nodded with a small smile and mouthed ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ while Gregg just leaned into him. She didn’t take it personally as she stood to show herself out.

Before she could make it to the door, however, Gregg called weakly out to her, “Thank you, Bea.”

“Don’t mention it.” She smiled and walked out. Back in her trusty car, she decided on a whim that she should stop for food before driving back to Possum Springs.

***

The drive back wasn’t nearly as grandiose as the trip there, so Bea found it passing quickly without her even noticing the changing surroundings. Once she arrived back in the small town, she parked and barely remembered making the trek back to her room before crashing onto her bed. It wasn’t all that late, maybe five PM at the latest, but she felt so overwhelmingly tired.

Sleep came quickly.

Her dreams were odd. She found herself surrounded in a cold, lifeless, darkness, unable to see but she could feel this energy swirling in patterns around her. She didn’t feel the need to call for help, and doubted she could even if she wanted to, so she just waited, staring blankly ahead, for something to happen.

_“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”_ Something whispered to her, sounding frightened and panicked, yet resigned at the same time, but before Bea could even ask what the voice was talking about or _why it sounded so much like Mae_ , she burst awake. The darkness of her dream replaced with the shadows in her room that circled in the eerie silence. Her clock told her it was four AM as she got up to get a drink, and found that she was alone in the apartment. The TV was off and her father was nowhere to be found. That was a little strange, even for him. Despite him so often being out late drinking, he usually came back before three at the latest. But she waved it off, he probably just passed out at the bar, it wouldn’t be the first time.

After guzzling down a glass of water, Bea found herself to be too awake to go back to sleep, she decided to talk a walk around the town. It was safe enough at night, and she knew Mae’s aunt Molly had night shift anyway so there was little room for trouble. She wrote a note to her dad explaining where she was if he got back before her, although she doubted he would even take the time to read it if he were drunk, but it was the thought that counted.

Bea walked the first few blocks with her eyes practically closed, simply feeling the breeze of the summer night – though it was almost morning. She knew this place like the back of her hand, having grown up here and never gone anywhere else. It was claustrophobic sometimes, of course, but there was a certain calmness that stayed with you once you’ve lived somewhere enough to know everything about the place. She opened her eyes once she got to the entrance to the subway, next to the road that led up to the church, and glanced at the bulletin board where she usually saw the two missing person posters of Mae and Casey. His had been there for a long time, but no one had bothered to take it down yet. She had grown used to seeing the two laying against the cork backing next to a ball of yarn- for some reason-, however, this time it was different. She squinted at it, disbelieving that fact that there was now _another_ poster advertising a person who had disappeared, and her heart practically stopped when she finally read the name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

** MISSING **

 

**_SELMA ANN FORRESTER_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright now for some explanation
> 
> I recently moved into and started college! its my first (and only) college of choice and I'm incredibly stressed out lmao
> 
> but yeah its hard to find the time and motivation to write when I'm like trying to get everything together for classes and making new friends and missing literally all of my friends and family and most importantly my girlfriend, so this chapter has sort of been sitting for weeks for my to edit and upload
> 
> actually it didn't even need to be edited I just didn't want to upload shit without someone proofing it
> 
> but right enough excuses this chapter wasn't really gonna end like that but I had a conversation with my gf about the plot of this story, since that's something I need to actually write down at this point (oh shit I don't know where I put it, I gotta go get that) and she basically gave me a list of things that I can do with this story without her wanting to murder me lmao
> 
> I would tell you all the list but it'll probably end up being spoilers since god knows I'm gonna make this as depressing as I can haha
> 
> jk but I really don't know we'll just have to see
> 
> anywho, I hope people are still actually interested in this story despite me being gone for so long, thanks for reading and please, leave a comment telling me how much you hate me for this!
> 
> I love and will reply to every comment I get
> 
> ok bye~ ^-^


	5. A Funeral (or three) in the Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok wow sorry if there's any mistakes i'm so tireddd

Despite having worn black, or dark in general, clothing ever since the start of her emo days in high school, she couldn’t help but hate the color significantly more in the current moment.

In her hands were a few flowers, of what type she couldn’t find the strength to care, they were red, and some orange, but the majority were white. A terrible contrast to the clothes she, and everyone else around her, were wearing. She moved the bouquet to one hand, using the other to scratch at the sleeve of her dress, which was much less comfortable than her usual attire, and twice as expensive. She had it wrapped in the back of her closet for the longest time-  the last funeral she went to was her mother’s, so it’s understandable to not want to look at it all the time- without much of a use. She hoped before that she would never have to wear it again, but of course that’s a naïve wish. Death was something that was unavoidable, something that’s currently hitting her in the face repeatedly, and probably everyone else as well.

The five friends – well, Bea didn’t really know the little mouse girl very well, but she seemed to be friends with Mae, so she tagged along when she caught wind of what they were doing – stood in a sad little semi-circle around an old tree with a few rocks at its base. Three candles were lit on said rocks, right next to a letter drawn in sharpie, although Bea imagined a fourth next to them, but no one else knew that. In order they were “C”, “S”, then “M”, to represent the three they grouped here to mourn. They were dressed for the occasion, but not for the time of year, Gregg, Angus, Germ, Lori, and Bea, all looking dreadful and out of place in the warm weather. Bea wished she could be anywhere but there. She put the flowers down leaning against the tree, so she didn’t have to hold them anymore.

It was three funerals at once, since it wasn’t likely that any of them would get their own anytime soon. It had been two weeks since Selma disappeared, and even though they had no proof, they all knew she wasn’t coming back. Bea thought about her encounter that night she found out. In her sudden shock, she had run all the way to the mines, only to find it barren and destroyed. Germ caught up with her and told her that it had collapsed sometime during the night. For some reason that she couldn’t quite understand, any last shred of hope she had for Mae coming back had diminished, and she knew exactly then that Selma was gone too. She cried, lucky that Germ was there to offer his shoulder, and while comforting wasn’t his strong-suit, he did his best. Bea was grateful for that. Although it wasn’t any better when she returned home that morning to an empty apartment, and then again that, and the day after, and the day after that. She realized that along with Selma, her dad had disappeared as well.

She shook her head, trying not to think about that in the moment, as the five stood silently in front of the make-shift memorials. _Mae would’ve wanted more than this, something extravagant_ , she thought, but it wasn’t in her power to do much more. It would have been unfair to Casey and Selma, had she done up only Mae’s. Casey deserved more too – well, they all did really- and though Gregg, Bea, and Angus had set off fireworks and lit a bonfire for their lost friend while Mae was in college, before this he never got a proper service.

“So, uh, are we- are we supposed to say something?” Gregg asked lightly, his voice cracking.

“I think so,” said Germ, looking a little impatient with the lack of anything to do.

Bea exhaled slowly, trying to rid her mind of her thoughts and just do what they’re supposed to do here. What even were they supposed to do? It wasn’t like they were burying any bodies, or had a priest or whatever to lead this poor excuse for a service. Maybe they should’ve invited Pastor Kate. Even Angus looked a little lost for words, “Should we, commemorate one at a time? Or, just, like say whatever we want to whoever.”

“I don’t really care,” Bea said with a sigh, maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all. She wished she could smoke – she had to keep the carton in her boot since this accursed dress had no pockets- but she wanted to be respectful for the time being.

“Let’s do one at a time.” Gregg said confidently, and slipped something out of his jacket pocket. It was a switchblade, one that looked worn down over the years. The blade was probably dulled. “I’ll go first,” he continued, leaning over to place the blade in front of the first candle, “So, uh, Casey. I don’t know if you can hear me, dude, but I wanted to say how much you meant to me. You were a cool person, and an even cooler friend. I always thought of you like an older brother, you know?  You helped me through a lot of things, like when I started falling for this guy,” he elbowed Angus with a smile. After stopping to take a breath –and try not to cry, no doubt- he continued, “I’ll never forget you, man. Good luck in the afterlife, or whatever. I hope there’s still plenty of crimes there.” Gregg patted his chest and looked to the sky, while Angus put his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders.

The bear cleared his throat, and held a little tighter to the other. “I just wanted to say, thanks for being, uh, cool about Gregg and me. I know that it was hard, for him to have to share his time between hanging with you or with me, and I didn’t always agree with the stunts you two would pull… but thank you. We miss you, buddy.” Angus choked up a bit on that last part, and Gregg pulled him into hug. Bea heard someone sniffle, but focused on herself and what she would say. She didn’t know Casey that well. In fact, she suspects he was the reason Mae had first drifted from her all those years ago, since when she got closer to him, she hung around Bea less and less until the sudden drop that left them back at strangers. So forgive her for not knowing a nice, sentimental thing to say for him.

A part of her knew that this didn’t matter. Ghosts didn’t exist. She used to talk to her mother at her grave, but she just lost the motivation after a while, especially after Mae disappeared. All they were doing, all she’s ever done was talk into the thin air. But the rest of her knew that they needed this. All of them. Even the mysterious mouse-girl. They couldn’t keep searching for their friends all their lives, knowing that they’ll never come home. This triple-funeral wasn’t for the dead and gone, it was for the ones still living.

“I know we weren’t really close, Casey,” Bea said aloud, more for Gregg’s sake than her own. “But thank you for being there for Mae. She really looked up to you.” Short and to the point. She ducked her head to breathe, then lit a cigarette, having given up on her temproary sobriety. When she glanced over at Gregg, he was smiling, a sweet wistful smile. Almost nostalgic in way. Germ followed suit with a short, generic eulogy, and it made sense, since Germ really only knew him through Gregg. Lori didn’t say anything, but that was fine. She was, like, 12 when Casey disappeared, and he wasn’t all that well-known to the middle-schoolers at that time. Not like Mae was. She hadn’t stopped staring at the rock that belonged to Mae the entire time.

No one else spoke up immediately. It was assumed to be Selma’s turn next, but no one really knew her. She was a few years ahead of the four of them, a senior when her and Angus and the others arrived in high school. Bea knew her, though. Maybe not enough to call them the best of friends, but they were there for each other when Mae disappeared. She heard her poems, she knew how quickly someone could relapse, she knew... basically how she looked from an outsider’s perspective.

“I heard, back in high school, about someone who had gotten fired from Ham Panther for stealing the meds.” Angus spoke softly, but enough for them to hear. He sounded a little unsure, but kept talking to fill the space.” I used to feel… sorry, for that person. But then I saw you around when you moved back, and Mae told me it was you, and I realized that I was wrong. I don’t mean to pity you, Selma, I think you’re strong. Even though we’ve never really talked, I’m proud of you for getting the help that you did for that addiction. And for entertaining Mae. I wish I could’ve heard some of your world-famous poems that she always talked about.” He finished with a warm and inviting smile as Gregg nodded beside him, not bothering to say anything since he knew just as much as Angus.

Bea paused for a moment, the speech she wrote in her mind erasing completely as she tried not to let it hit her. The fact that Selma was gone. That she would never see her again. That the person she’d grown close to, the person she shared her grief and sorrow with, was simply vanished. As if she never existed in the first place. A pang of pain laced her chest as she remembered her relapse, or at least what she told her. Angus said he was proud, but Bea didn’t know if he’d change his mind if he knew the truth.

“I remember,” she started, trying to keep her voice from shaking, “that poem you wrote, and said aloud at the poetry club. It was amazing, and real, and it was obvious how passionate you were about your work. I wish the world was kinder to you, to let you pursue your dreams.” Bea blinked away the stinging in her eyes, “Thank you for being there with me, when everything had gone to shit. I know I’ll never be able to repay you, but thank you.” She finished, barely above a whisper. Gregg pulled away from his lover to hold her hand, looking up at her with a certain sadness in his eyes, and guilt. Probably since he and Angus couldn’t be there for her when Mae went missing. She didn’t blame them, though. She was glad they got to where they were. To her surprise, Germ took her other hand for a moment’s grasp. It was an encouragement, a praise for saying what she did. She appreciated it, and expressed her gratitude when he quickly let go.

Another minute of silence went by, the only sounds being the calm breeze running through the grass and trees. Bea let the soothing atmosphere calm her down, because god knows she’ll need a tight handle on her emotions when she starts talking about Mae. She saw the young mouse fidgeting in her place on the other side of Germ, looking like she wanted to say something, but didn’t want to break the silence. After a moment, she took a deep breath and decided to speak up, “Um, can I, uh, say something about Mae?” She sounded so small, and almost scared, as if she expected someone to shoot her down. No one said anything in protest, and Gregg even nodded and gestured for her to keep going. “Okay, um. Hi, Mae. Um, I guess, when I found out that you, you know, went missing, I didn’t want to believe it. I told myself that… that you had just got lost in the woods or, or something. You were the only one to, like, listen to me, and go along with the things I said, and actually be interested in my, uh, hobbies… I, Mae, I don’t want you to be gone. I know it’s been months but I still believe that you’ll show up one day, saying it was all a joke,” her nervous stutter disappeared as she rambled, and Bea noticed her breathing picking up a little. Gregg exchanged glances with Angus, looking a little worried. “Or you’ll come back with cool stories, like you just went on a long trip to the west coast, or to another country or something. Or maybe you will come back as ghost, that would be cool.” She laughed a little hysterically, her legs and hands shaking. “It doesn’t matter, I’m just, I just want you to come back. I’m sorry for calling you a killer, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t-“ the rambling stopped when a sob broke from her voice, and she cried into her paws, shaking and panicking and overall having a bad time. Angus, as gentle as always, calmly let go of Gregg and walked over to her, taking her paws from her face and holding them in his own, whispering “it’s okay” and “it’ll be alright” to her. It was obvious he had dealt with this sort of thing before. The crying mouse kept her eyes shut tightly, but as time went on her breathing grew calmer and her shaking subsided.

“Do you want to go home? I’ll walk with you, if you want.” He said to her in a gentle voice after a she had calmed down enough.

“N-no,” she replied in a shaky voice, “I’ll be alright… I’m sorry.” She looked away, embarrassed and guilty for causing a scene.

He simply shook his head and gave her paws a slight squeeze as he said, “Don’t be.” He stood to the side of her, still holding one of her paws, but loose enough so she could pull away if she wanted to. She didn’t though, and remained holding his big paw as it kept her grounded.

“Guess, I’ll go next,” Gregg spook up, still holding onto Bea, contented, despite his boyfriend now standing on the opposite side of the group. “Where do I even start? Mae, you were one hell of a partner in crime. And a kick-ass bass player. You were always so real, making sure everyone was good and happy despite all that shit that went on in that head of yours. I only wish that we could’ve been there more for you. I’m sorry that college was shit, and we all kinda grew up really fast. In a different life, we would’ve kicked adulthood in the ass together.” Gregg’s nostalgic smile broke off as he chuckled dryly and grimaced at the ground, “Man, fuck the world. You deserved so much more, Mae. You had your whole life ahead of you, and look what happened. Everything just got fucked. You deserved more... We all do.” He clenched his eyes shut as tears fell down his face. Bea just held tightly, not to tell him that he needed to calm down, but to let him know that she was there for him. Angus stared sadly over to him, but stayed with Lori, who had started to get emotional again when Gregg starting crying.

Bea breathed slowly, and ignored how broken Gregg sounded at the end there. The guilt that she heard during their argument a while back came back full force, but now it was accompanied by anger. She was glad that he could blame the world instead of himself now, as it should be. The world sucked.

“You were cool, Mae. And had good taste in video games.” Germ spoke, a man of few words, it seemed.

“And a good listener.” Angus added and nodded.

He didn’t continue, so Bea took a moment before speaking, “You know, it was really hard. After my mom… died, and you had long stopped talking to me. Being alone sucked. And seeing you get to go to college while I was stuck here, that sucked too. But I don’t blame you, Mae. Not anymore anyway. You kept going, kept moving and jumping around and running through town, even after everything that happened. Even after Andy, and college, and that time I yelled at you. You always looked passed all the bad stuff.” Bea grew nauseous for a moment after she saw the image of Mae lying still in that hospital bed. Or how exhausted she was laying across from her on Angus’ couch. She _had_ tried to be energetic and outgoing all the time. But in the end all it did was exhaust her to the point of making that dumb decision to leave without the others. Bea shook her head, “I always wished I could’ve been as strong as you. And even though you could be a bit dense at time, I hope wherever you end up treats you right.” There were a million other things she could say but she stopped there before she could get emotional.

They all stood silently for a while longer, no one said anything else, but they still stayed standing. To commemorate the dead, or maybe to keep each other company, because after this? Well, life would continue per usual. Gregg and Angus were heading back to Bright Harbor tonight, and Bea had to deal with her own problems tonight. She still hasn’t told anyone that her father never came home after the mine collapsed. Germ would likely disappear back into the shadows, and Bea doubted if she would see Lori again. That mysterious mouse didn’t seem very keen on replacing Mae’s spot as her friend anytime soon.

But the moment had to end eventually. Germ announced that his “Gramma” was making dinner tonight, and he’d promised to help her, then promptly left. Lori said her goodbyes soon after, thanking Angus again (even giving him a quick hug, to which he blushed) and scurrying off to wherever she was going. The sun was setting soon, and Bea knew that Gregg and Angus had to leave soon, and that they didn’t want to leave her alone, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave yet.

“Oh, wait!” Germ said, running back to where they were, having forgotten something. He ran up to Bea, and fished in the pocket on the inner flap of his jacket, and pulled out a black-covered journal, putting it her claws. “I think it was Mae’s, found it in the woods one day a while back. Sorta forgot about it.” He ducked his head sheepishly, then waved and left again. Bea ran over the journal in her hands, opening up the first page cautiously, while Gregg and Angus watched curiously.

The inside of the front cover said _RIP GRANDDAD_ with a little heart under it, and Bea’s stomach dropped. _This was Mae’s ‘recovery’ journal_ , she thought dreadfully. The ‘remedy’ that Dr. Hank assigned to her after Andy’s incident. Bea remembered seeing Mae stop in the middle of their conversations, or after something happened, to write or doodle in her journal, she carried it around with her everywhere. She never explicitly let Bea or anyone read through it, but sometimes she would grin and show Bea what she created when prompted.

And now, it was there, in her possession.

She closed it quickly, and Gregg stared at her, obviously wanting to read through it, but she couldn’t bring herself to, it was just too personal, too much of a reminder that Mae was really gone.

Gregg made a move to grab it, but Angus held his shoulder, “We should get going, bug,” he whispered. Gregg looked a little sad, but nodded and said goodbye to Bea, holding his boyfriend’s paw as they walked away.

Bea’s mind still was racing over the fact that Germ found Mae’s journal. She didn’t know what to do now. Should she read it? Bury it? Burn it? What would Mae want?

 _Her parents_ , she thought. They would want to have this, right? To know what went through their daughter’s obviously tormented mind. But she wasn’t certain. What if they still believed Mae was coming back? What if this memento just made everything worse? They were already struggling as they were. They didn’t need this burden.

But… it was the right thing to do. Maybe? Bea didn’t know, she was so confused and tired and exhausted emotionally. She wanted to lie down and sleep for a good twenty years.

 

She could deal with it in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
> 
> whew
> 
> um, it's done i guess
> 
> so like,,, theres a lot i wanna talk about regarding this fic and i know i said this is the last chapter but like, i wasn't really planning on ending it there
> 
> you can probably tell, since mae's arch isn't tied and blah blah blah
> 
> i meant when i said i was tired af lol
> 
> college is tiring
> 
> anyway, im super sorry this took so long to post, even after i said it would be out soon, expect one more 'chapter' after this, i'll explain everything best i can
> 
> but for now
> 
> this is goodbye to this fic
> 
> catch me later with that SP7 gay shit - probably
> 
> thank you for putting up with me, and thank you to every who's given me kudos and comments and just overall encouragement, y'all make everything worth it
> 
> and sorry for the disappointment that is this chapter
> 
> see ya soon~
> 
> ^-^


	6. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning; not a chapter, just gotta get some stuff off my chest

Hello world and all who inhabit it.

I just want to start this out by saying that this is going to be so overly-dramatic that it won’t even be funny.

Like that opening, like, seriously? What a drama queen, I say to myself.

Anyway, this is the sort of conversational epilogue to the Mae is Missing series, since there’s a lot I meant to do and so much more I wanted to get through in this fic, but sadly my time and motivation dwindled quickly and honestly I haven’t been involved in the fandom much at all. 

So, Mae is Missing was meant to be a long drawn out series of works with full blown commentary on the art of storytelling in videogames and how we as readers and players and viewers experience the material that creators come up with, as well as more internal themes of grief, letting go, moving on, forgiveness, and love, both platonically and romantically. 

But sadly none of this came to be ‘cause I’m horrible with staying in a certain fandom for more than like a month or two. This was supposed to be the fic I finished, since my Undertale fic and various other works on Wattpad are doomed to indefinite hiatus. I wanted this to be the one that was meaningful, to me and to anyone who cares enough about it. I wanted to set myself up not only as a writer but as an aspiring video game creator as well.

This got off track of what I wanted it to be but yah, that’s my life story haha.

Now to stick to the point. Mae is Missing.

The story is pretty confusing I’ll admit, I’ve always been known to get so ahead of myself when it comes to writing multi-chapter fics, and wouldn’t you know it, that’s exactly what I did.

So where is Mae? Who is the demon guy, the Black Goat? What happened to her, and Casey and that other strange child. 

I’m not gonna spoil the true ending, just in case one day I wake up and decide that I really _do_ wanna write and finish this fucker, but I will answer those questions, since it’s only fair.

1; Where is Mae?

So Mae and Casey and those other little shits are in the _void_ , a sort of made up place to define the realm between the living and dead. I sort of envisioned the place and where the spirits that fall into the ‘hole to the center of everything’ stay until the demon... well, eats them. It’s the plane where the Black Goat controls everything and there’s no hope for escape. So, sorry Mae. (Well, not really).

2; Who is the Black Goat?

The Black Goat is a demon that wandered across Possum Springs back at the beginning of Eide’s story, like when the town was founded and things were shit. He saw how desperate the people were and started to entertain himself with them, whispering shit like “I’ll make everything ~~gay~~ great if you just do what I say” and they took the bait and started making sacrifices. He was like “oh yes” and kept it up but in all honestly? He didn’t do shit. Like in my mind, everything, including the destruction and peace and shit, whether there were sacrifices or not, was just coincidence. Like the dad cult was killing people and children and praying to this demon, but it really wasn’t doing anything, it was all for nothing. Sure the demon exists, but he just sat back and watched it happen. Sometimes shit just happens, alright? The cult was just too stupid to see that

3; What happened to Mae?

So after Mae fell into the hole, she met with Casey and them in this aforementioned void, then went to talk to the demon dude. He thought she was pretty cool, I guess. He could like see her unbridled hysteria from her mental disorder (like whatever made her beat the ever-living shit out of Andy Cullen at the softball game) and was like “ooh this seems like fun” so he just tortured her for a bit then got bored and decided (this isn’t in the ending, this is what was supposed to happen) to take up that deal with Mae and basically give her back her life in exchange for her basically killing all of the cult members. After this she would’ve been like fucked up mentally and stuff and it would’ve been a long road to recovery. 

So, yah there’s my essay and analysis of Mae is Missing. Of course there’s more but like I said, I want to keep it to myself so that there can still be surprises in the future. Again, I’m sorry that I lost the drive I used to have for this fanfiction, trust me, I wish I could’ve made this as deep and great as I wanted it to, but my mind’s already moved on with my boi steven suptic and fake shit (a reference that few will understand, I imagine (as if I didn’t make it incredibly vague)) so while this isn’t a letter saying I’ll never write again, it is saying goodbye (at least for now) to the series, my beloved, _Mae is Missing_.

If you have any other questions, or just wanna yell at me, feel free (and by feel free I mean pleeeeeaaase) leave a comment. I promise to answer every. Single. One.

Goodbye (for now), 

~Chaos ^-^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also one final note, to anyone that wants to write fanfiction or anything at all, DO IT. just do it, literally, and not like the dead meme 'just do it' like seriously, get it down, edit, revise, or don't, and throw it away or post it, it doesn't matter. Even if you think you suck at writing, you gotta keep doing it, and you WILL get better.
> 
> Also if you want me to proofread (or just read in general) your shit I will, for free lol
> 
> Thank you all for joining me on this wild ride, HMU on my tumblr if you need me
> 
> Good-by~

**Author's Note:**

> I dont know why I made the titles for this series all DnD references, it just happened


End file.
